Powerful country folk: Hey, we can make more money growing carnations than we can selling crops!
Powerful country folk: …except we live in Provence, which is stupidly dry. Oh well, there’s one guy who’s got a spring on his lands. We’ll try and buy them from him.
Guy with the spring on his lands (Pique-Bouffigue, which literally means “the person who picks blisters”): I don’t want anything to do with you. Get the fuck out!
(They get into a fight. Pique-Bouffigue bumps his head and later dies.)
Powerful country folk: Who’s going to inherit?
(Naive town man arrives.)
Powerful country folk: Let’s starve and drought him off the land.
(Naive town man remains doggedly determined, gets hit by rocks while exploding rock for water – this actually happens – and dies.)
Several years later…
(Younger country guy goes mad and commits suicide, older guy is left all alone as the naive town man’s daughter marries.)
Friend of the older guy: By the way, through a torturous chain of events we never bothered to explain in the last book and now, that naive town man you killed was your son.
Older country guy: OH SHI-*dies*
The end. Now wasn’t that a lovely, happy story?
Seriously, the books and the films are really good, but the more I analyse them the more I think that most of the Bastidiens are selfish and possibly quite inbred bastards…