National Audit Office accuses Vince Cable of selling himself off too cheaply

Pride's Purge

(satire?)

The business secretary, Vince Cable, has refused to apologise over last year’s bargain-basement sell-off of his principles, despite a scathing report from the National Audit Office, which said he had auctioned himself off too cheaply.

In a lively debate in the House of Commons, Cable defended the controversial sell-off of everything he had ever stood for last October, insisting that his total sell-out had been a success and that there had been a real risk that the disposal of his integrity could have failed if he had valued himself any higher.

We’ve taken a loss-making politician and turned me into a successful public figure of fun,” Cable said.

Shares in Mr Cable’s discarded integrity have soared more than 70%, trading at 565.5p on Tuesday, since their stock market debut at 330p a share in October. However, Cable defended his sell-out saying there was still a “great deal of froth” and market uncertainty around the real value of the Business Secretary.

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